Wankerfest

Much like Oktoberfest except without the quality beer, dirndls, and the generally cheery mood. The atmosphere at Wankerfest is marked by the abundant presence of wankers, the lack of any real conversations, and the feeling of impending dread mixed in with moments of short bursts of excitement. Though celebrated every year, it is not a particularly well known event--even to wankers themselves--and the people that attend, usually, prefer not to discuss it, which, in part, lends further to the festival's general obscurity.

Philip hoped to attend Wankerfest in complete anonymity this year as to avoid further conflict with his spouse.

Some say that wankers are in a constant state of either planning a trip to, or, figuring how to get back from wankerfest