whackycardia

The act of masturbating while a patient in a hospital. If you are being monitored, it can appear as a v-tach and can cause an emergency response to your room.

Doctor: What happened?

Nurse: Mr. Smith in 302 just had a bad case of whackycardia. Our student nurse walked in on him at climax. She just went home sick.

Doctor: I advise a strong sedative until he's home.