Satan

#1 The One who wanted to be God cause God rulz! But ended up his own cuckold. Now he spends every waking minute pretending to be a winner. His time is almost over.

#2 The one who stands out side ur door when ur reading or doingg something ur not supposed to be doing. that.. physically unmovable spiritual wickedness that reminds me of a super angry Bull with rabies that overdosed on steroids and somehow lived, and hopes u don’t pray at that precise moment. The one who has to obey God unwillingly.

#3 Forever shamed, who temporarily clothes him self with the shameless people of our planet earth.
4# that old serpent..

Me# Satan, ur not welcome here!
Satan# u know u can do shit.. and u we’re doing something ur God did not approve of.
Me# Boy, God must be mad at me. Oh Fuck! Ok… ok.. Lord…
(I know I would have fainted if I didn’t already know these things about who’s in charge. U don’t wana meet the devil. Just be thankful when the Lord is trying to get ur attention and it was the only thing that would work, and start there.. cause sometimes it’s not our fault we take kindness for granted). Ignorance in not bliss ok. But necessary.

Penis envy

When u grow up with a best friend read porn together and think ur the man. Then he alludes to the fact women like large perfect dicks and how much better it would be for them.
When fall from grace and realise u will never feel safe in a relationship as long as he is around ur woman.
When u give up and watch them flirt.
When her joy when he is around is arousing.
When all u can think about is her pleasure.
When all she can think about is him.
When all u can think about is him.
When all u can both think about is him.
When she starts asking about him.
When his name is on both ur lips and almost say it whenever u want to speak to one another.
When she wants to marry u cause she know he won’t stay in that way.
When u give in and watch him make her cum so hard no one will ever believe u if u told them.
When ur raising his children and he is happily married his wife is happy, ur wife is happy, and ur the only one who isn’t.
When u realise ur addicted to the crushing reality of her orgasms with him.
When he controls ur and her with envy and u can’t help submitting.
When u realise no one noticed ur children look like him, no one knows what is going on. Just u 3.
When u wish u could die but the addiction is worth living for.
When u die and stand before God and he says “ why didn’t u trust in the small dick I gave u?” And u say nothing…

Wife: I can’t stop thinking about him, I see his face everywhere I go..
U: same..
Wife: he came over this after noon while u were at work..
U: he knows I have penis envy.
Wife: really? So he has a big dick does he?
U: :(
Wife: :)

Asshole

Place where shite comes from. Usually used in context where waiting at a red light in traffic and as soon as the light changes, before having time to lift foot off clutch, driver behind beeps horn to move ahead.

Or on a hot day, keeps talking about the heat.

Brick labour: *throwing up 1000 bricks 2 story lift. 500 to go. Listing and whistling to the tune “what do we want? Mud and bricks, when do we want’em? ..now!
Doll bludger: * walking past watching..
brick labour: gets down to last 20 bricks, misses one and smashes a window (yr 2001)..
Doll bludger: * shakes head
Brick labour: *notices doll bludger…
Brick labour: walks up * sweat pissing from every orifice, Pivots right 4 week hardened shoulder, (slave driver boss/ money hungry hoe) and breaks doll bludger in half.

Boss: young fella sure fucked that ass!!!
Buttheads: yea, and the doll bludger was twice his size! doll fks, “u might wana cross the street nxt time asshole.

Meat axe

Big and dumb, but some how obliterates. Doesn’t understand what fear is.
Urban meat axe ./ big hairy guy who is practically useless outside of a pub brawl or any urban area. Doesn’t understand women. Namely found in prisons. Can be hired for smokes and porn magazine's, bananas and some types of custard cups. Kills prison guards for fun. Has an infinity for the sound of necks breaking. Still looking for me. Usually has a pet of some kind, a small dog or fish. Typically shuns steroids and has skin like leather.

Can bend prison bars if provoked enough. *nifty.. but very slow moving in general.

-dipshit

Spectator: He smashed them all!??…
Mate: who donk? what, during the game?..
Spectator: no after, the whole team!

Dumbshit: should of seen’’em, 7 cops jumped on top of him all male..
Stoner: then what happened?
Dumbcunt: he threw them all off and walked away.
Stoner: meathead!
Dumbcunt: Meat axe, urban meat axe, not meathead FUKHEAD!!!