Fischlered

To drink approximately 20 pints of shtout and to store them indefinitely just above your pelvis in a seventies suit (elastic) whilst sitting on a bench in a catatonic state in Rathmines, eyes barely open, but retaining the fine, ambassadorial persona of a leading eurocrat.

"Look at the state of Franz today!"
"He is surely locked out of this world."
"Decidedly Fischlered."
"Possibly Murphed also."

2👍 1👎

humperbatch

One who chooses to bid farewell with a jolting thrust of the groin amid mass confusion and semi hysteria whilst possessed by the spirit of Sir Stephen Hawking.

"It is now time for me to depart."
"Yes. Farewell you fiend."
"Allow me to hump you over the threshold by means of strange familiarity."
"So be it, humperbatch."
"Parting is such sweet sorrow."

bovinity

The absolute antithesis of sincere behaviour in human form. Namely executed in completely nonsensical and ridiculous taskmaking within the workplace, encouraging the widest possible deviation from the direct route of A to B (via Z). Also an adequate description of idiotic juvenile behaviour (the like last seen in the playground) carried out by a grown woman/beast.

"Could you immediately fill out five forms in triplicate for the next toilet paper order?"
"Yes! In the name of insane bovinity, I shall! (Ya fat heifer)."

11👍 2👎

Mama Red Cap

Almost human creature that beetles around Rathmines wearing a red cap, talking loudly to it's selves. Hat functions as a beacon for psychotic activity but also makes a fine, fine storage vehicle. Ideal for carrying spuds.

"Mama's red cap is white today."
"Shit! I didn't see the change coming."
"You just aren't street enough."

4👍 3👎

Rathmines

Portal of absolute lunacy and hotbed of psychotic behaviour. Where dense legions of the disturbed appear, reappear and vanish indiscriminately, hounded by invisible demons and caught eternally between the havens of Ranelagh
and Rathgar, longing to find their way home. "It's under the stairs in the Swan Centre!", I shouted, but to no avail. They just walked through me.

"Does this bus go to Rathmines?"
"No. NO. GOD NO! PLEASE. NOT THAT PLACE. ANYWHERE BUT THAT PLACE! LEAVE NOW. WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE. THEY WILL KILL YOU ALL. ALL OF YOU. FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR DEAR LIVES!"

20👍 5👎

Crispin

Larger species of greying elf found grazing in areas of dense literature. Believed to survive predominantly on crime novels, which it consumes leaving only traces of a brittle, crisp-like substance as evidence of its existence. Crispin-catching emerged as a popular pastime during the 1830's, but the practice is now obsolete. Historians have recently questioned the validity of crispin sightings, and indeed they are now generally regarded as mythical creatures by the majority of the populus, believed in only by crazed booksellers who have recently been Dowled.

"Quick carruthers! Fetch the rifle or indeed the dustpan and brush! I believe I have a crispin in my sights!"

72👍 40👎

Murphed

Strangely akin to 'morphed' in that the most regular and mild-mannered individual can, in the space of a few hours, turn into a rabid, dribbling fiend, screaming obscenities willy-nilly, controlled by the strings of Arthur Guinness. The act of spending an evening in the company of Vince Murphy of Rathmines. Yeehaw.

"Mattress was locked the other night, man."
"Yeh, he was completely fragonned and controlled by strings."
"Exceedingly Murphed. Oh no, he's coming over..."
"Can ye not do that somewhere else..?"

6👍 13👎