qualods

A state of mental distress usually experienced by your partner, which they have no intention of articulating to you, or explaining any reasons behind it, but which they are pissed-off that you are not doing anything about, and will make sure that the nice evening that you had planned becomes a living hell.

Acronym:Quite Upset About Lots Of Different Stuff

NB: Do NOT, under any circumstances, try to explain to a sufferer that they have this condition.

Person of Unspecified Gender:(Enters room with a face like a busted boot)

Partner of Person of Unspecified Gender:(Thinks)"Aw shit! Qualods!"

Air gum

A type of invisible gum generally masticated by the older and desiccated members of our society.

Old Ma Begley seemed blissfully unaware of the toy poodle carcass mashed round the rear wheel of her mobility scooter as she sped through the mall scowling into the far distance and chomping away on a big wad of air gum.