Wife Changing Event

When something occurs that necessitates the acquisition of a replacement wife.

"Dude, did you hear? Tarkowski caught his wife in bed with another woman."

"No way! That's awesome!"

"Not really. Neither of them were in the kitchen where they're supposed to be."

"Bummer man, they should know better. That's a wife changing event."

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sneezoning

When you're looking forward to eating something and a third party lacking a reasonable amount of hygiene sneezes on it.

Since I complained about the long wait for my appetizer, the waiter added his own sneezoning before bringing it to my table.

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