Toast Rack

Fine, fine female ass cheeks so shapely and strong you just have to use them to hold your toast.

"Mmm - that's a fine toast rack you got."

60👍 14👎

Wrong 'Un

Brit slang for a dangerous person with a screw loose. Someone that could actually do some damage, not some harmless happy go lucky wanker.

"Fuck me rigid, Frankie Four Fingers is a right fucking Wrong 'Un. He peeled off Jimmy The Greek's fucking kneecaps with a claw hammer just 'cos he looked at 'is Old Lady funny".

80👍 25👎

Shag Palace

Impressive pad that a single guy - or a rich and sneaky married dude - can whisk a panting paick-up back to for a bit of the old in out in out. Typically has some impressive "views", a fridge full of champagne and no evidence of any priors.

Dave's fucking loaded. He's got a shag palace downtown and fucks like a rabbit there every Friday when he's not at home...with his family.

73👍 14👎

Log Lady

n. Mysterious woman who leaves a gigantic unflushable turd in the ladies' loo. Usually encountered in the workplace, sparking endless speculation about the identity of the Log Lady. No male equivalent, thanks to David Lynch, and the fact that men have such godawful personal hygiene that this is a pretty regular happening in the male crapper.

"The Log Lady struck again! Who d'you reckon it is?"
"That fat bird from the 4th floor!! She must have a tail-pipe six inches wide!"

72👍 24👎

Jug Ears

British slang - describes ears that stick right out to the side like the handles of a milk jug. Makes cosmetic surgeons a big pile of cash to staple the suckers back.

"Dave's little brother Mike has got Jug Ears. He's an ugly Jug-Eared twat".

124👍 25👎

dockyard oyster

Noun. The kind of huge, vile, cancerous-looking greeny coughed up and spat out onto the ground by British Naval dockyard workers. Called an oyster because of the solid, greeny, snotty, rubbery centre surrounded by a lighter, watery fringe of phlegm, and the fact they just CLING and stick around for ages. British sailors have inventive imaginations, so you couldn't expect this to go un-named for long.

Officer at the gangway: Bo'sun's Mate, what's so funny?
Bo'sun's Mate: It's Able Seaman Smith, Sir, He slipped on a dockyard oyster when he was crappers last night and broke his leg! In front of the Captain's wife! Fucking brilliant!

57👍 11👎

Wormspeak

Slang used to describe written Arabic script, first used by the British Army during the 1991 Gulf War.

"What does that sign say, Sarge?"
"Dunno, Lance - it looks like a load of wormspeak to me"

59👍 21👎