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qiagen

Qiagen is a company that makes Molecular Biology kits that have turned biological research from a craft requiring years of rigorous dedication before one could design and carry out successful experiments, into a bunch of glorified science fair projects that any high school senior could be hired to perform while professors and grad students hit crack pipes in the back room. The devolution of Molecular Biology into 8th grade-level chemistry set bullshit has been largely driven by the use of high profile attention grabbing buzzwords such as "genome" and "proteome" which send government grant-bestowing organizations into a drooling frenzy like fatties at an all you can eat steakhouse. Individual assmonkeys with the highest profile institutions and best buzzwords are thereby left with millions of dollars a year and very little talent to spend it on. They hire a bunch of kids to use these gay little Qiagen kits to do their enormous projects, and are left with more data than they would ever be able to review themselves. If there were a golden needle in their crappy haystacks, such assmonkeys would never find it in a million years. So they submit their piles of shit to public databases, and expect all of us who didn't get millions of dollars to sort through thier shit and find gold. An experiment is useless, perfunctary, and derivative if it has relied mainly upon kits such as those supplied by Qiagen.

Real Sceintist 1: Dude, did you see that fat bastard's lab space at the Whitehead?

Real Scientist 2: Yeah, It was like a fucking Qiagen box fort on his shelves.

Real Scientist 1: Fucking high-through put human genome mapping man. I wonder if he even knows what buffer P2 has in it.

Real Scientist 2: Qiagen, motherfucker.

by Sharkey November 25, 2004

118👍 44👎


jesusfuckshits

Three great expletives that greatly go together. It starts out like Jesus, as though you were saying Jesus Christ. Then skips the gay Christ part and heads straight for the greatest expletive of all time, Fuck. Now Fuck, which is usually just an emoticon or sometimes a noun, becomes an adjective; modifying, in an almost unimaginable way, shits.

Holy fucking fuckshit Christ man. Jesusfuckshits where'd you put my dime bag motherfucker?

by Sharkey November 25, 2004

18👍 11👎


McKetchup

A free ketchup packet from McDonalds that you throw at Mrs. Smith.

a packet of ketchup from McDonalds

by Sharkey May 3, 2004

12👍 9👎


be-hop

can be used as a verb or a noun. Can be used as the act of ejaculation, or can be used as the semen itself.

Stu has AIDS and threatened to be-hop on everyone.

by Sharkey October 5, 2004

54👍 9👎