beer goggles

The strange appearance of contact lenses which elevate previously obnoxious multi warted hogs, to the status of worth having a go on.

"feels warm, smells nice, female... Good start, FUCK Me, i must of been wearing my beer Goggles, hope i had brewers droop, cus i'd hate to see the offspring of this one".

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wizard's sleeve

n. similie. A huge twat, akin to Gandalf's cloak in lord of the ring's, from which one could feasibly magically produce a rabbit, a deck of cards and make the empire state building dissapear. See also clown's pocket, welly top

"I nearly lost my head in her wizard's sleeve"

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pan handle

n. Erect cock. captain. boner

She was cooking on full power gripping my pan handle.

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welly top

n. similie. A vaginal orofice as large and loose as a rubber wellington boot opening. See also clown's pocket, wizard's sleeve

"It was like throwing a stick down an alleyway, her muff was like a welly top"

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Spadge

Cum, spunk, gentleman's gel, valentines porridge.

"I filled the hairy cup with my spadge."

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plums

n. Balls. Globes. Happy sacks.

"If you've finished polishing the captain, you could have a suck on my plums"

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porn

n. Reading and viewing material, otherwise known as 'cliterature'.

As Bill Hicks once said "any material devoid of content that induces sexual thoughts. So every advertising campaign on TV. When I'm watching that double-mint commercial 'double the pleasure - double the fun' with those twins; I'm not thinking about gum, that's for fucking sure"

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