Aardvarking

Aardvarking ahrd-vahr-king ;
Aardvarked ahrd-vahr-kt
verb

To aardvark is to complete the following steps:
1. Put about 1 tablespoon of water in your mortar & pestle (or small bowl/dish) that is now littered with the final, hard-to-reach, hard-to-scrape remains of cocaine after a debaucherous night of having sex with your roommate’s sister and watching an entire season of “Trailer Park Boys.” Make sure the powdered remains are in the tiny pool of water
2. Take your plastic straw (which you had already stolen from a gas station and had cut into either 2 or 3 shorter straws, as aardvarkers are too hygienic, civilized and classy to use the filthy dollar bill in your wallet which contains 37 imperceptible traces of semen)
3. Vigorously snort these final remains of product
4. Revel in the 15 seconds of burning pain and discomfort
5. Now that you are undoubtedly the highest you’ve been all night, as aardvarking packs a powerful punch, you may begin constructing a plaque to hang in your office at work, which proudly states “I have aardvarked.”

You have just successfully aardvarked.

"Hey boss, I was gonna call in sick but after I started aardvarking, a thunderbolt of motivation struck me and I sprinted all the way here, blasting a Slayer album and I AM FUCKIN' READY TO SELL SOME CASKETS AND URNS!!! LET'S DO THIS SHIT!!!"

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Inspirection

in-spuh-rek-shuh n
- noun

When a human male attains a full-blooded erection that was not gained by means of any thoughts or feelings related to sexual arousal or activity, but rather solely by means of achieving inspiring ideas.

“When Antoine told me about the possibility of tearing down the very fabric of capitalism using only a pneumatic drill, used toilet paper and a stolen World War II battle tank, many new ideas started to spawn in me in that same moment. By the time I stated my inspiration and stood up to grab another cup of herbal tea for us both, he pointed out that I had a full erection just one foot away from his face. We were both aware that it could not have possibly been a sexual-related erection, therefore it was an inspirection.”