simpanzee

A person who is a hardcore simp for another. They are such an extreme simp that they have descended past the level of humanity and are now an animal (hence the reference to "chimpanzee").

Did you see Bob? He's been simping over Michael for three months now and his simpery is showing no signs of stopping. He's become a real simpanzee.

grause

1. adj. gross and obscene, but more extreme
2. n. a gross or sickening person/thing
3. v. to fornicate

1. You're so grause, I want to throw up whenever I look at your face.
2. My sister called me a grause after I slapped her yesterday!
3. I hate it when they grause in movies. It's so unnecessary and a waste of time.

simp contract

A contract written to protect people from falling into the bottomless hole of simpery. The contract includes ten injunctions. These are as such:

I. Thou shalt not spend money on the object of simpery.

II. Thou shalt not ship the object of simpery with thine self.

III. Thou shalt not lay thine eyes on fanfictions or shippy fanart.

IV. Thou shalt not browse pictures of the object of simpery for more than ten minutes a day.

V. Thou shalt not watch more than thirty minutes of videos of the object of simpery a day.

VI. Thou shalt not gush about the object of simping on thy social media.
VII. Thou shalt not show any emotion towards the object of simping.

VIII. Thou shalt not say cheesy, cringey, corny, or crusty things about the members.
IX. Thou shalt not have more than ten pictures of the object of simpery at a time. Thou shalt also not have a single shirtless or sexy picture of them.

X. Thou shalt not become an egg--smooth-brained, hairless, and lacking of common sense.

Each injunction comes with a respective punishment.

Mike: "Dude, I signed the simp contract yesterday and I've never felt so protected in my life! It's like a form of insurance so I won't fall into the shame of simping ever again."
Jimmy: "It's too late for me, man. I already broke three of the rules and now I'm going to get punished for being a simp."

simp

v. to obsess over a person or a thing, especially a celebrity or romantic interest
n. one who overtly and often shamefully obsesses over someone

"Yunley was simping over Shrimasimpa to the point where he let thousands of people die for her, even though her death could have saved them all."

"Kylie was a simp for Justin Bieber and spent all of her money on his merchandise."