future ex-wife

Fiancee.

BOB: Are you and Sheila getting married?

JOHN: Hell yeah, she's my future ex-wife Bro!

92👍 44👎

Big Wife Energy

The girl that will take care of you drunk, when she’s drunk. A true superstar who you should marry.

“Sarah took care of Ashley on Saturday”
“Wdym”
“Sarah was shitfaced and still held her hair back and gave her water”

“Wow that’s Big Wife Energy”

12👍 3👎

Wife-ing it up

A term used to describe your best friend's infatuation with his new girl friend. Where the friend puts aside all other people and commitments in order to spend as much time with the new girl.

Have you seen Todd lately?
No, he's been wife-ing it up with Karen for the past 2 weeks

14👍 4👎

Bi wife energy

As gay tik tok has agreed: A straight guy who gives queer/ally vibes probably because his partner is bisexual.

Her boyfriend is a gamer boy with little spoon preference, he has so much bi wife energy.

130👍 64👎

Fuck My Wife

A phrase said in a similar manner and context to "Fuck My Life" except used when ones wife/girlfriend is the source of grief

Bill: Hey Mike I got some tickets to the Rangers game tonight, you in?
Mike: Oh hell yeah buddy, just let me run it by my old lady
Wife: Michael you promised me that you would watch the third Harry Potter movie with me tonight, you know how scared I get
Mike: ugh Fuck My Wife, sorry Bill I can't come

39👍 17👎

Wife Changing Event

When something occurs that necessitates the acquisition of a replacement wife.

"Dude, did you hear? Tarkowski caught his wife in bed with another woman."

"No way! That's awesome!"

"Not really. Neither of them were in the kitchen where they're supposed to be."

"Bummer man, they should know better. That's a wife changing event."

18👍 6👎

Ben Shapiro‘s wife

A doctor

Bro 1: Oh crud, I’m having a heart attack.
Bro two: hang in there buddy I’m going to call Ben Shapiro‘s wife

9👍 2👎