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Naked and Petrified is an Internet-based troll meme, nowadays usually associated with Natalie Portman. It (apparently) first started out via comments on the SegFault website, and was used regarding Mae Ling Mak, a Linux magazine columnist. Its origins may lie in the Rocky Horror Show, where the heroes were turned into naked statues.
After comments were disabled on SegFault, N+P moved over to Slashdot where it mated with some Natalie Portman related trolls and appeared in its present form.
It is also closely associated with hot grits a la "Natalie Portman, naked and petrified and covered in hot grits". Articles written in late 2000 accuse the Portmanified meme of being played out, but it was still a favourite almost five years later. Even in 2007 it still pops up now and then.
"Natalie Portman, naked and petrified and covered in hot grits"
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The act of after walking a girl back to her place asking her if you can use the bathroom and when she leaves the room stripping naked and hoping that through just plain simpathy she will sleep with you. works 2 out of 3 times.
I used the naked man the other night.
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an adjective used to describe a woman's sexual appeal as you would only engage in sexual intercourse with her if she was naked on your bed.
note: nake-bed is usually followed or preceeded by a high pitched "ehhh"
ehhh, shes not hot but shes at least nake-bed
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The Naked Man is where one takes advantage of a distraction in order to shed their clothing and surprise their date with nakedness in the hope of receiving sex by means of humor, pity or sheer spontaneity.
You go to a Blind Date which turns out to be a disaster. Then you make an excuse of yourself in order to enter your dates apartment. When the date being out of the room simply strip down, and you are good to go.
The Naked Man works 2 out of 3 times.
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A status on Facebok that no one likes or comments on, occasionally leaving the person sad and on the verge of suicide
Tim: Did you see how i got a new computer?
Dave: Yeah i did, wasn't it that naked status?
Tim: Don't remind me!
A turd that has been left in an un-flushed toilet with no accompanying toilet paper.
I was at my sister's house and went to take a piss and saw a naked log left by one of her kids. I told her but, in typical fashion, she just blamed it on someone else's kid.
When a person wears no clothes around there house or to bed during the month of November
Chad : Thanks for having me over to dinner Jillian Steve's cooking gives me the shits.
Jillian : No problem ill be right back to start cooking.
Chad : O Wow! Do you always parade around the house naked!
Jillian : No not usually but it's Naked November silly!
Chad : Oh yeah I totally forgot I should get naked too, wow you have really cute tits.
Jillian : Thanks my boyfiend like to suck on them and wow you have a really big cock.
Chad : Thanks all the girls like to suck it, wow your shaved pussy looks so smooth.
Jillian : Thanks my boyfriend like to shave it it turns him on.
Chad : I bet it does so where is your boyfriend anyway?
Jillian : Oh he's in Texas on business for the whole month of November.
Chad : Gee what a shame he dosen't get to enjoy Naked November.
Jillian : Yeah I really miss his tit sucks, pussy shave's, and all night dick poundings!
Chad : Yeah Naked November is just not the same without an all night dick pound is it.
Jillian : So are you gonna fuck the shit out of me or what!
Chad : Mmmm God Bless Naked November!