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Joint Rolling Machine

a machine for lazy stoners to roll up for you, or if you can't roll

Cam : How do i roll up?
Iza: Don't worry g, chuck it in my Joint Rolling Machine

by CameronSmithsAGayCunt December 3, 2022


Mystery machine

The van that has a nice man who looks like Santa clause offering you candy

Santa: hey, look it’s the mystery machine, do you want to see Scooby-Doo

by Norville Rogers April 23, 2020


ATM Machine

A machine that forces you to pay it to get access to your rightfully owned money. Also a popular job career for criminals

"Hey, can we got get Popeyes"

"Hold on, I gotta get money from the ATM Machine first"

by hairy penus May 18, 2023


Ghost in the Machine

An unwitnessed fart left in an elevator for the next rider.

It was an awkward elevator ride from the 12th to 18th floor when the boss got on with me and the ghost in the machine.

by AbuEm July 10, 2023


Hypocrisy of the Liberal War Machine

When 1 roommate plays 1968 by the turnpike troubadours literally hundreds of times on the guitar in the living room until it's stuck in the other roommate's head and then the second roommate sings the song in his room while the first roommate, who is working in the living room, shushes him.

Lloyd: "it's been a long time coming good to see you my old friend"
Felix, Command in Chief of the Liberal War Machine: "Dude....::implicit Hypocrisy of the Liberal War Machine::"

by levered_lloyd April 22, 2021


take the machine

to look information up using a computer (for instance the internet)

I didn't know your address so I took the machine.

We need directions to the store. Can you take the machine?

Take the machine to find a map so we can find our way around Salzburg.

by Pajek April 11, 2006


The candy machine

The candy machine was a device used for masturbation in ancient times and was presented by a kid named Elias on youtube, he was the creator of this masturbation device that yanked your balls and tickled the groin. Elias went on to die from internal groin bleeding....

"I just bought a brand new version of The candy machine!"
"That's fucking awesome, just remember to oil up so it doesn't rip the testies"

by jepeliusmilo December 18, 2024