Random
Source Code
Random
If you see her, run. If you talk to her, run. If her kid attacks you, expect to be in court. Just stay away from this beast of burden.
''C'mon Dorothy time for soccer practice!''
''Hey mom your a soccer mom''
''Yeah i know.''
''Cool.''
''Karen.''
'EXCUSE ME SWEETY , IS THAT HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER IM GOING TO TALK TO THE MANAGER ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE MISS.''
A middle aged woman with a child the woman has to have everything perfect and goes crazy if someone comes at her child
A soccer mom is an overly-protective mother whose role is to live the life of a child herself. She drive a huge ass SUV. She is usually shallow, ill-informed, self-indulgent, insecure. She assumes that “family value” kids like hers can do no wrong. She has never elevated herself from the high school focus of being popular, being “seen”, being “cute.” Her role in life is to “fit in,” her “thinking” is “cliché driven,” she is “family value” focused, but has no real understanding about what the term means and would be at a loss to try to define it. She feels sorry for those who do not have soccer mom credentials, who have no suv, no hellspawn (children), no “fashionably family valued” family like hers. Her hellspawns are an extension of herself, so she herself is a kid, and she molds them, transports them, educates them to think in the same shallow kid-like way she thinks. She is a “control freak” at heart with a mindset that is shallow and mindlessly routine. She doesn’t have the courage, the depth to express herself outside the “group think” of her soccer mom associates, for as in her high school days, she still seeks esteem from others by being popular, one of the gang. Wars, pestilence, poverty, the environment are issues that pass her by and always will. She is a robot, a child who has grown older but not wiser, an american dream tragedy culture has promoted, not having the depth to see or understand the sickness it has fostered
Me: *listening to Metallica in my 1969 Ford Mustang*
Soccer Mom: *drives to the side of me in a suv*
SM: You turn that awful and satanic garbage off this instant!
Me: *turns it to the max*
SM: TURN IT OFF YOU AWFUL MONSTER, MY CHILDREN ARE PRESENT AND THEY WILL GET CORRUPTED THANKS TO YOU!!!
Me: Fuck off, bitch.
SM: THAT'S IT! I'M CALLING THE POLICE, AND YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS IF I SEE YOUR STUPID CAR! NEWER IS BETTER!
SM: *drives away*
Me: Bye bye asshole..
7👍 1👎
A woman who takes a nasty, stinky dump all over a soccer ball, then proceeds to lick every bit of it off, while masturbating to naked pictures of Bea Arthur.
I thought I was into skat, but that soccer mom showed me that I have yet to explore the finer points of fecal fetishes.
84👍 97👎
They're are the reason for car crashes , global warming , teenyboppers , frat boys/girls , they mostly stay at home waiting to pick up their "angels" for what dumbass activity their brats are doing , or annoying the crap out some sane person , or causing car wrecks in the air-polluting SUVs , they hate anything that is non Christian (despite being spawns of Satan) , internet , freedom , minorities , anything that will "corrupt" their "precious little angels" , they keep their children away from anything that will make them individual. They also hate gamers and anime fans
Me : *Listening to Melanie Martinez*
Soccer Mom: HEY ! YOUNG LADY QUIT LISTENING TO THAT SATANIC GARAGE YOUR LISTENING TO , YOU ARE CORRUPTING MY BABY
Soccer Mom's kid : *smoking weed behind his mother's back*
Me : You're not my mom
Soccer Mom: THEN I'M GONNA TELL HER
Me : Fine
Soccer Bitch tell my mom
Soccer Mom : Hey your child is listening to this Melanie Martinez
My Mom : So what ?
Soccer Mom: WTF ! YOU SHOULD PUNISH HER FOR LISTENING TO THE DEVIL'S MUSIC
My Mom : *walks away from crazy Soccer Mom *
My Mom: Don't worry *insert name* , hopefully she and her brat will die in a car wreck
And this why soccer moms are pure evil
3👍 1👎
A cocktail comprising of approximately one bottle of wine and two Xanax.
Kevin's Mom was a nervous wreck until she fixed herself the soccer mom.
21👍 20👎
The person that gets stuck picking everyone up to take them to work or an event.
The Designated Driver in a group of drunken friends
Take a taxi, I'm not your Soccer Mom
21👍 23👎