Rural Dictionary

Padding

The entirely heterosexual act of copulating with other males in order to increase one's 'body count'. This has been popularised lately due to the 'modern woman' having an intrinsic repulsion to virginic males.

(Note: In the contemporary dating scene, a body count below 17 is widely considered to be 'sub-incel numbers' and is described by many as a form of C&B torture.)

There are many sexual benefits to padding. These include:
Confidence boost, penis confidence boost, better posture, better thrusting technique and power, ashwaganda, and on-demand BJs.

Several peer-reviewed papers have come forth with conclusive evidence that performing fellatio on a male penis corresponds with improved cunnilingus proficiency by up to 15%. World renowned pussyologist Dr Pussymandias famously stated:

"Yo, if yuh OPE/H oral penile ejaculations per hour index high, dat mean seh yuh know how fi please di Female Sexual Organs real good. Di two a dem have a strong link, yuh see me?" (note: Dr Pussymandias has recently had his academic and professional wrestling titles stripped for LARPing as a Jamaican man.)

Ani: "Have you guys seen Alvin? I haven't seen him lately."
Niraj: "Nah mayne, I ain't even seen my own ass ASSHOLE since last year. An I ain't even gay!"
Ani: "Erm... I'm going to ignore that. Can you answer my question?"
Niraj: "Aint he yo boyfriend? Shiiiiet, I may have hit dat plump ass ass myself..."
Ani: "The last thing I heard him mutter under his breath was something to do with padding."
Niraj: "Bredda... bredda..."
Ani: "I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and found something about sticking tampons to walls... I am at my wits end."
Niraj: "Bredda the only thing getting Urbanly Dicked is your mans. He's getting DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKED."
Ani: "Erm... isn't that gay?"
Niraj: "Actually no, that is a misconception. He is merely painstakingly investing in his sexual marketplace value in order to be half the man you always wanted him to be."
Ani: "That sounds quite ga-"
Niraj: "Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING."
Ani: *sucks own pussy*
Niraj: *goes bollocks-on-the-wall insane*

Alvin: "I am having sex with men in order to increase my body count :) this is called padding."

The End

by BoganBumfucker March 30, 2023

9👍 1👎

The Pad

Where the boys get lit during break times. Only the best of the best can survive. Many people can't handle the pad and have had to level down to Football or becoming Charlie's friend.

Oi, why has LOOOOGAAAN not been at the pad recently.

by Dubsy Wubsy September 18, 2020

7👍 2👎

padding

1. The blank leaves added at the end of a thin publication so as to form a volume with sufficient thickness to be rounded and backed and/or to be lettered on the spine. Unfortunately, the paper used for this purpose is usually of an inferior quality, and becomes embrittled and transfers its acidity to the leaves of the publication. Also called "filler," or "filling." 2. A method of securing ruled, printed or blank leaves by the application of a padding compound, and sometimes a cloth or other reinforcing liner, to one edge (frequently the top) of the sheets which have been jogged even on the binding edge and placed under pressure. Special padding troughs, clamps and presses are used to facilitate padding large quantities at one time. See also: PAD COUNTER (2) ;PADDING COMPOUND . 3. A method of applying dyestuff to the grain surface of a leather or tawed skin, particularly the latter, in cases where it is not feasible to immerse the skins in the dyestuff liquor because of the increased fullness and decreased stretch which will result from such immersion.

by VAKI5 November 2, 2003

14👍 4👎

PADS

Post Atomic Dump Syndrome

The groggy, unstable feeling after taking an enormous dump. This can be worsened by consuming large amounts of cheese or spicy foods.

I'd love to go out tonight but I have PADS and won't be able to walk for another hour

by Johnny McPoopboots August 14, 2009

130👍 70👎