Random
Source Code
Random
University of Southern California. Because a large amount of the student body wanted to attend other, more prestigious universities (especially UCLA) and instead had to settle for USC because of its lower academic standards.
I wanted to go to Stanford, Berkeley or UCLA, but I didn't get into any of those so I'll be attending the University of Second Choice.
275👍 74👎
Someone who abstains from meat consumption and does not believe in coercing others to do the same.
"Don't worry, guys. I'm a pro-choice vegetarian, you can eat steaks in peace while I'll have a salad."
46👍 12👎
The 21st century version of American democracy
Ted: "Wow, our democracy is now nothing but a "People's Choice Award." We quit caring about background, character, intelligence or other intangibles, and simply pick the most entertaining white guy."
Russ: "Yep, Trump is no Lincoln, Eisenhower or FDR. I guess half the country finds him entertaining enough to be leader of the free world."
Ted: "Makes great sense, doesn't it? You don't think the rest of the world is both freaking out and laughing at us at the same time, do you?"
11👍 1👎
To be someone's backup if their other, more desirable option falls through/passes out/falls off a balcony/runs out of money.
A: "What are you up to tomozzle?"
M: "I'm going out with the ladies to try and pick up. But I'll call you if nothing comes through"
A: "Negative Dude, I'm nobodys Second Choice Susan, forgit it"
17👍 3👎
1. Gay and in the closet.
2. An utter tool, and incapable of getting laid in a woman's prison with a fistful of pardons.
3. Sincere, delusional, and very, very repressed.
So I went out to a bar last night and struck out with four different women. But it's okay, I'm single by choice.`
20👍 203👎
The teeny-bopper's Nickelodeon version of the MTV Music Awards. Usually the artists featured on the show feel degrated as soon as they walk on stage, so they nervously remind all the little children in the crowd to floss their teeth.
"Yo I'm gonna floss my teeth because Nelly told me to on Kid's Choice Awards!"
52👍 18👎
Hooking up with someone whom you know -for whatever reason- is someone you really should NOT be hooking up with.
It's 8AM Sunday morning, you're doing the walk of shame in last night's clothes... or what's left of them.
There's only one thought going through your head as you try to remember where your car is:
Dammit! I Make Bad Life Choices.
"Bad Life Choices" are usually sex-life related and tend to fall under having 'sexual relations' with 1 or more of the following; your boss, a co-worker, a cousin, a friend's lover, your mom's boyfriend, your ex's sister, a known player, total stranger or a random groupie and/or friday night ho, etc. etc. etc.
8👍 1👎