Turd Slapped

The act of defiling an object or individual through the use of animal or human feces.

Usually utilized as an exclamation point to dealing with a particulary irritating co-worker or former boss.

Bob: "Andy returned his worksuits, but they smell like shit."

Boss: "Geez, they smell bad. This one has a long brown stain on it"

Bob: "Oh wow. I think Andy Turd Slapped you"

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turd tango

Slang term used by skilled nursing home staff for the hour or so post-dinner time when geriatric residents, en masse, need to take a sudden shit.

Ya really gotta hop to it once the turd tango begins!

turd wars

All the crap Star Wars movies with new crap titles.

Episode 4: A New Poop
Episode 5: The Empire Shits Back
Episode 6: Return of the ShitEye

Episode 1: The Phantom Ghost Shit
Episode 2: Attack of the Colons
Episode 3: Revenge of the Shits

Episode 7: The Force in my Colon Awakens

Episode 8: The Last ShitEye
Episode 9: The Shit to End all Shits

Did you see any of the Turd Wars films?

No, they're all crap. But it did made the Force in my Colon awaken!

Tandem Turd

A turd that reaches both ends of the toilet.

I ate so much McDonald’s that i clogged the toilet with a tandem turd!

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Demon Turd

A turd that manifests itself at a time not normally anticipated. The host suffers from feeling of embarassment and uncomfort until the demon is released. Sometimes this comes in the form of a demon poo, which is more liquid in form.

Jim: Man, I don't feel well. I got to take a shit and I hate going in public.

Roy: You know you'll feel better when you release that demon turd.

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turd muffler

A chick with such a big ass it creates silent but deadlies.

That aint ghetto, thats a fucking turd muffler its so big.

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turd nest

To lay out toilet paper or tissues in the toilet for your shit to land on when it comes out of your ass. This usually minimizes swirl marks in the bowl upon flushing.

I laid out a nice turd nest when I was about to take a shit.

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