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Subway lottery

When you go to Subway and tell the people making your sandwich to "Surprise me". The results can vary from delicious and unique to disgusting and nightmarish.

"I'm sick of the same, boring sandwich. Let's play the Subway lottery!"

"I just got a cucumber carrot jalapeno seafood sandwich with sweet onion sauce, vinegar & mayo. Looks like I just lost the Subway lottery."

by Constable Honeydew March 31, 2009


clap lottery

Sleeping with someone who you suspect may have an STD due to their lifestyle (i.e. having a bucket load of sexual partners) but you're drunk or desperate enough to play the odds.

Example:

- "Bagged Jade last night"
- "You played the clap lottery with that one I can tell you!"

by The Spike February 26, 2007

30πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


Laundry Lottery

Laundry Lottery

A situation where one finds cash in a random piece of clothing unexpectedly, where the subject receives and artificial sensation of euphoria, that last for about 5 seconds and feels as though they’ve won the $300 Million power ball. All negative thoughts quickly leave and regardless of the mood the subject is in, they will have a positive outlook on life for the remainder of the day. LL winners who find cash that they thought was originally spent, experience a dual sensation lasting approximately 10 seconds longer.

Situations that make winners of the laundry lottery.

(1) re-wearing clothes from a previous nights affair
(2) left over cash that survives a laundry run
(3) Disillusioned intoxication, where one forgets to pay random debts (e.g. waitresses, bartenders, drug dealers, etc).

Morpheus: β€œWhat the fuck are you smiling about?”
Bob: β€œ I just won the laundry lottery.”
Morpheus: β€œHow much this time?”
Bob: β€œFound a c-note in my shirt that I forgot to give to the hooker last week”

by hellyea October 19, 2005

20πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Ghetto lottery

A game played by lawbreakers wherein a large cash sum may be awarded after winning or, more commonly, settling a lawsuit against the city due to supposedly unjustifiable police action. Sums are awarded either to 'victims' or their grossly dysfunctional relatives, and typically spent frivolously within a short space of time on unnecessary goods.

How to enter:
1) Do not behave like a civilized human being

2) Do not co-operate with law enforcement under any circumstances
3) To the greatest extent possible, provoke the police into detaining or arresting
3) Resist detainment/arrest; claim it to be unlawful
4) Sustain fatal or serious injury (relatives of the deceased shall enter the lottery)
5) When contacted by toxic 'civil rights' lawyers, agree to everything
6) Tell the media that you "didn't do nothing" (or that your relative was "a good kid")

Please note: Entry into the ghetto lottery is possible only in cities with corrupt and extremely liberal district attorneys, judges, etc.

- Quantavius Williams, 21, was shot and killed by police after reaching into his waistband while fleeing on foot following a dangerous high-speed vehicle pursuit. The City of Atlanta awarded his relatives $500,000 after settling a wrong death lawsuit.

- Markeesha Jones, 49, was detained after she refused to identify herself to police during a burglary investigation. Jones' attorneys claim that her civil rights were violated because the police had no reasonable suspicion to question her. The City of San Fransisco was ordered to award $8.5m to Markeesha and her daughter, Mo'nique.

- Connor Blackwell, 31, was arrested for leaving the scene of an accident and disorderly conduct, but was pronounced deceased after suffering a heart attack while in custody. Toxicology reports state that Smith, a felon with extensive criminal history, had acute levels of cocaine in his system. Bodycam footage also shows Smith resisting arrest for more than eight minutes before finally being handcuffed. Police and paramedics on scene were facing charges of negligent homicide, but they were dropped. The family's legal representatives say they want justice, and the City of Columbus is now facing a $5m wrongful death lawsuit.

Contrary to popular belief, the ghetto lottery can be won by any individual regardless of race or ethnicity. As long as you have contempt for law and order, your ticket can be secured.

by zadkovich March 9, 2023

34πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


tesco lottery

The Tesco lottery is a game played by people who get deliveries of groceries from the supermarket chain Tescos.

Tescos seem to be remarkably bad at packing one's whole order in full and without bits of other people's orders. Thus, some deliveries you find you are missing a few items; you have lost the Tesco lottery, as some other person has your smoked salmon... however, you just call Tesco and get a refund.

Now, somewhere else there is a person with your smoked salmon and somebody else's bottle of vodka, but they are missing some toilet paper; they call Tesco and get a refund on the toilet paper, but keep the other stuff they didn't order; they have won the Tesco lottery.

The fun thing with the Tesco lottery is that the only real looser is Tesco.

1. "I won the Tesco lottery today... I didn't get a bottle of Pepsi, but I did get two bottles of wine, a pack of coco-pops and some rump steak in exchange; oh, and of course I called Tesco for a refund on the Pepsi."

2. "Damn it, I lost the Tesco lottery! Where's my wine, coco-pops and steak? All I have is this Pepsi I didn't order. Oh well, I'll keep the Pepsi and get a refund from Tesco on the missing stuff."

by Aoife303 November 21, 2006

19πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


lottery wings

When ones bingo wings get huge, they get upgraded to lottery wings

She was soooo ugly, her ass was like a bouncey castle, she was so fat that she didn't have bingo wings but lottery wings

by mitch00uk April 5, 2015

19πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


mexican lottery

When you get two sodas from a vending machine for the price of one.

Guy 1:Bro i just won the mexican lottery want a snapple

Guy 2: yhea thanks man

by dietxrich January 26, 2010

268πŸ‘ 74πŸ‘Ž