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Random
Sex with yourself
Ariana Grande: Hey Siri, what does masturbate mean?
Siri: Masturbate means to foreplay onto yourself, sometimes adding another organism to it, taking your finger to your clitorus to finding you g-spot.
Ariana Grande: TMI
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The act of looking or staring intently at something for no appearent reason. If more than two people are doing this, it is called a Circle Jerk.
I love masturbation because it gives me time to really observe the world.
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The worlds leading cause of blindness
Did you hear that masturbating makes you blind, its true
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The act of self (sexual) pleasure. Used by those who: 1) are too ugly to have real sex. 2) Those who wish to discover their bodies can still produce bodily fluids. 3) Wish to fantasize/remember mummy, daddy, brother, sister (any family relative) coming into their room late at night and doing things to them they've been told never to tell anyone about. 4) An art used by dirty old men to show the young girls watching that he really loves them. 5) What men do when they're horny but their wives/girlfriends/boyfriends aren't. 6) What women do when they're horny but their husband's/boyfriends/girlfriends aren't
"Sorry darling, I didn't mean for you to catch me masturbating in front of your sister, but I think it's only right I teach her about masturbation"
"I do apologise Officer, but I think the woman is so attractive, I had to show my love for her through masturbation"
"No, my friend, I wouldn't worry that you caught your wife in the act of masturbation. She once said that she thinks about me when she masturbates"
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Having sex with yourself
when a male/female don't have a partner, so instead they touch their funny parts to replicate the feeling of sex
Person: i will touch my pp!
*violently "strengthens" pp*
Person: masturbating is so cool!
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The act of when a shemale ties a rope around their penis, attaches a magnet to the other end of the rope, places a larger magnet in their vagina, and then places the rope magent inside the vagina too. Causing one to fuck themselves.
I learned about masturbation in health class, it's funny!
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1. Masturbating to the beat of the music
2. Violently masturbating to the point of pain, or death.
1. Nick was masturbeating to skrillex for 7 hours yesterday! His dick must be beat xD
2. Sean died last night after masturbating for more than 3 days in a row. What a masterbeat!
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