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A depraved sex act. Favored by Stephen Colbert.
Putting everything in there is the hardest part of performing Canada's History.
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The act of stabbing a grandma and fucking a horse. The grandma part is foreplay.
Yo, last night I was involved in an hour long hands-on lecture on Canada's history. Awesome?
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A sexual act. Canada is referred to as "America's Fuzzy Hat." You give your girlfriend a "fuzzy hat" by having ten of your friends masturbate on her hair, and then you "smuggle drugs back across the border" by having anal sex with her, and then drugging her with morphine. You finish the act by putting a Canadian and an American dollar in her anus and leaving it there.
Dude, I totally did Canada's History with my girlfriend last night. It was wild.
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A sex act in which a jug of maple syrup is inserted into the woman's vagina and/or man's ass with the jug opening sticking out. The partner with the jug then squats over the other partner while maple syrup drips out, covering the other partner. The partner covered in syrup then fucks a beaver (if the woman is covered in syrup, a strap-on dildo is used). Then sticky, sweet, chaos ensues between the two and the beaver.
The apartment was a sticky wreck after the Canada's History from the night before. The dining room table was also missing one of its wooden legs.
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A "Canadian History" is the sexual act involving a hairy Canadian woman and a man. The man takes a bottle of maple syrup and a moose antler and engages in the sexual act of shaving the hairy Canadian woman. They then lie down on a Canadian flag in the snow and then the man uses a small plastic or rubber figurine of the Stanley Cup to masturbate the freshly shaven Canadian woman until she orgasms. This orgasm may then be bottled, food color added, and then sold as "Canadian Historical Maple Syrup".
After watching an episode of "The Cobert Report" on Comedy Central, Tom and Sarah engaged in some Canadian History.
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Canada's History is a sex act in which a live moose is hunted down with the aid of Sarah Palin (a master tracker and rogue) and viciously murdered by decapitation with a jagged hockey stick. After defiling the moose head further by teabagging the head several times (and not with Early Grey, but your genitals), it is ready for sex. The antlers are rammed up the anus of the female while Grade A Canadian maple syrup is slathered over the balls of the man who is simultaneously stuffing the moose's mouth with his shaft. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin hardly wants to miss out on the action so she goes rogue by jamming the other side of the antlers (opposite end is butt spelunking the female) up her vagina far enough to perform a self-abortion on her unwanted baby. After everyone has finished and Palin has enlarged her vaginal orifice another 2 inches, the moose head is discarded in a finely polished Stanley Cup. It is then sent to the home of Stephen Colbert for tedious inspection to make sure that every moose head was used to its fullest extent. Stephen does not accept the moose head in anything but the Stanley Cup as it is the only vessel prestigious enough for his liking. As a health advisory, it is generally necessary to check up with your doctor before performing Canada's History with your partner as it can lead to serious diseases such as severe diarrhea, Colbertitis, mad moose disease, and a neurological disorder known as The Palins which generally leads to mental retardation.
-Canadian Tool 1: "Dude me and my girl did a raw Canada's History last night."
-Canadian Tool 2: "Nice bro, that Sarah Palin is a freak, eh?"
-Canadian Tool 1: "FUCK YEH! SHES THE NASTIEST SHETARD IN THE WORLD!"
-Canadian Tool 2: "Hell yeh, shes fucking hot."
-Canadian Tool 1: "Obvi bro... Obvi."
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A sex act performed by first lubricating a woman's vagina and anus with maple syrup. Then, the aforementioned orifices are spread open with the antlers of an elk. Once the vagina and anus are spread to a diameter of six inches, athletic tape is used to attach the antlers to her thighs. Her partner then defecates into the Stanley Cup, and mixes it with Molson. Once it achieves a consistency of pudding, it is poured directly from the Stanley Cup into both orifices. Both orifices are then plugged with hockey pucks. This step is known as the "Hat Trick." She then stands up, straddles the face of her partner and pushes the pucks out.
I hear Stephen Colbert is into Canada's History.
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