A wearer of the schoffel, usually anything from a gillet to head to toe schoffel
Normally seen herded Into young farmer gatherings.
Olly looked a complete schoffel wanker today
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Those wankers on bikes who think they are Chris Hoy, but are in fact middle age accountants and are shit bike riders
Jon - look at that wanker on that bike
Robin - yes, what a lycra wanker....
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Guys wearing vests that expose man cleavage and/or side nipple!
Did you see Brett with his man cleavage hanging out?
Yeah that guy is such a vest wanker.
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This occurs when you get done masturbating and you try to wipe off the cum with toilette paper. The toilette paper rips and sticks to the side of your shaft. If you dont notice its there, it will harden and dry and form a hard covering over the shaft. Kind of like paper mache.
Dangit theres wanker mache on the side of my shaft from trying to wipe off the semen with tp.
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A Paddle Wanker refers to a minority of people who cannot bend their fingers back, thus emulating the shape of a paddle. They are complete wankers, who contribute next to nothing to society. They attempt to destroy as many oars/paddles as they can find, in order to justify their existence.
1) Whats the new kid like?
he's really weird, he can't bend his fingers back!
He's such a Paddle Wanker!
2) OH NO, my oar has snapped in half and we are stuck in the ocean....
...If only we had a paddle wanker to propel us to shore
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A person who adds a tag of a friends name into the comments section of a facebook news story, making it look as if there are more comments then there actually are.
What a funny story
DAVE SMITH
JANET WILLINGTON
BORIS JOHNSON
Oh do fuck off you bunch of tag wankers!
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The act of Jizzing in the ear, like a Wet Willy, but literally.
Guy one: Ah, dude. I just gave that guy a Wet Wanker!
Guy two: You mean a Wet Willy?
Guy one: Nah.
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