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Schoffel wanker

A wearer of the schoffel, usually anything from a gillet to head to toe schoffel
Normally seen herded Into young farmer gatherings.

Olly looked a complete schoffel wanker today

by Dog botherer January 4, 2020

5๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


lycra wanker

Those wankers on bikes who think they are Chris Hoy, but are in fact middle age accountants and are shit bike riders

Jon - look at that wanker on that bike
Robin - yes, what a lycra wanker....

by Mr Skint May 6, 2016

6๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Vest Wanker

Guys wearing vests that expose man cleavage and/or side nipple!

Did you see Brett with his man cleavage hanging out?

Yeah that guy is such a vest wanker.

by Sazzlebazzle January 16, 2014

5๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Wanker Mache

This occurs when you get done masturbating and you try to wipe off the cum with toilette paper. The toilette paper rips and sticks to the side of your shaft. If you dont notice its there, it will harden and dry and form a hard covering over the shaft. Kind of like paper mache.

Dangit theres wanker mache on the side of my shaft from trying to wipe off the semen with tp.

by hoover50 November 8, 2011

5๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Paddle Wanker

A Paddle Wanker refers to a minority of people who cannot bend their fingers back, thus emulating the shape of a paddle. They are complete wankers, who contribute next to nothing to society. They attempt to destroy as many oars/paddles as they can find, in order to justify their existence.

1) Whats the new kid like?

he's really weird, he can't bend his fingers back!

He's such a Paddle Wanker!

2) OH NO, my oar has snapped in half and we are stuck in the ocean....

...If only we had a paddle wanker to propel us to shore

by VeTe January 8, 2012

5๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


tag wanker

A person who adds a tag of a friends name into the comments section of a facebook news story, making it look as if there are more comments then there actually are.

What a funny story

DAVE SMITH

JANET WILLINGTON

BORIS JOHNSON

Oh do fuck off you bunch of tag wankers!

by Nigel Garage January 12, 2017

5๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Wet Wanker

The act of Jizzing in the ear, like a Wet Willy, but literally.

Guy one: Ah, dude. I just gave that guy a Wet Wanker!

Guy two: You mean a Wet Willy?

Guy one: Nah.

by LootGoblinPenny December 12, 2016

6๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž