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The history of unimaginable sex acts with the indigenous fauna of Canada.
I saw a pack of elk and went all Canada's History on their asses.
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Canada's History (illegal in some states) is a sex act between a man and a woman and another man and a moose. The woman first douses herself with a bottle of maple syrup, while the 2 men "fluff" the moose. then, the woman grabs the moose antlers and props herself up by stepping on the 2 men. She then Shits into a cup (preferably the Stanly cup) afterwords the men smear the shit all over themselves and the 3 people start going at it under the moose while the moose pees on them. after the deed is done the collect all the leftover "juices" bottle them up, and sell it as "Beaver's Love Syrup"
Did you see Steven Colbert's sex tape? I can't Believe he did the "Canada's History" with Jon and Martha Stewart!
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The act of pouring maple syrup into the rectum, then emptying your bowels into the Stanley cup. Then, while wearing moose antlers atop the head, dip your balls into the Stanley cup. Then Stephen Colbert kicks your ass at ice skating.
Dude, I was so wasted last night I brushed up on Canada's History, now my underwear is all sticky.
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Possibly the most disgusting sexual act in "History". The act requires moose antlers, maple syrup the Stanley cup, and a live beaver. Also a Celine Dion album is recommended for maximum effect. The "Canada's History" starts when the male/female takes the moose antlers to the anus of his/her partner, individually placing each branch inside his/her partners anus, using the maple syrup as lubrication. When the Stanley cup comes into play, it turns into a 2 girls 1 cup sort of scenario, Google it. Be careful with the next step, it involves the beaver and they bite, but its worth it.
John- "Yo, I picked up this chick at the bar last night, and we performed Canada's History over at my place, it was awesome!"
Billy- "Be careful man that's illegal here."
John- "Yeah I know, you don't even want to hear what I had to do to get the Stanley cup."
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A long time ago, an Alien named Jean Claude flew down in his spaceship shaped like a baguette, and deposited a race of souls called "Canucks" into a Canadian Moose the size of Alberta. J.C. bombed the moose, and parts of Canucks flew all around the most northern section of the America's.
Nowadays, souls of Canucks roam the countryside in smaller parts of the Moose. In their ethereal form, they often resemble a red maple leaf. Symptoms of Canuck-infestation often include gloating about one's healthcare, ignorance of the cold, occassionally letting an absurd "eh" follow your questions, and in the most extreme cases, total transformation into a fully grown "Mountie". These half-Maple leaf half-moose creatures spread Canadianism about the land.
"Wow, that Canada's History is Crazy!"
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A British colony's government walks into the Queen's office. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the Queen, "We have a really amazing act. You should let us govern ourselves."
The Queen says, "Sorry, I don't let colonies go. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to let us govern ourselves."
The Queen says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
The father starts to decribe the act by saying "First I come out on stage with my naked daughter in my arms. Then my wife comes out naked carrying a unicycle. I take our daughter and stick The unicycle up her ass."
The shit starts to come off the wheel of my uniclycle, flying all over the stage and even on the first few rows of the audience." "That`s right" the father says. "Then I start to fuck my wife in the ass when my son comes out on stage with our dog". Then the son says "I start to make our dog`s dick hard by sucking on it. When it`s nice and big I let him fuck me up my ass." The daughter continues "I get off my cycle and start to deepthroat the post I just had up my butt"
Then says the father "We all piss on the floor mixing shit, jizz, pussyjuice and urine together which we lick up, cleaning every speck. When it`s all clean we stand up, hold hands, smile and take a bow".
For the longest time, Queen just sits in silence. Finally, she manages, "That's a hell of a government. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "Canada!"
And thats how Canada's History came to be
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When Stephen Colbert sends you, you listen.
Stephen: Go make a definition of "Canada's History" on urbandictionary.com.
Anna: OK, Stephen
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