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Random
Father Fragrance can emit any smell and just snap his fingers and he will smell like that thing he imagined
Father Fragrance smells like grilled cheese.
Where you bin, we're about to open the presents?
Got a gift from Father Wristmas!
Gross.
Some random dude who put sperm in your mother and then if he finds out your mom is pregnant, might leave. Or if they’re just like “oh well this is my life now” they’ll stay and then act like they own you until you move out. If anyone owns you, it’s your mom. You stayed in her stomach for 9 months, left her, and then she tolerated all your shit. Honestly moms deserve more love.
Father: let’s do the nasty
Mom: okay
~a few weeks later ~
Mom: I’m pregnant
Father: fuck this shit
a person that someone looks up to or thinks of as a father.
person 1: thats my father!
person 2: they look nothing like you..
person 1: and that matters BECUASE???
15 years ago
Your father : I am gonna go to the store to get some milk brb
Your mom : Oh okay
Child you : Goo goo ga ga
15 years later
You : *searches father on urban dictionary*
Listen, I don't know either bro. Better luck next time.
Son: Father, who was the first father?
Father: Son, God was the first father.
Son: If God is a dad, doesn't that make dad bods the body of a god?