Beard Combed

The act of haveing a freshly combed beard in a crazy situation. You don't necessarily have to have one but combing your chin pretty much makes you in the game.

ex.
Person 1- "Yo man you clearly almost got hit by that car while running drunk across the drink".
Person 2- "Dude don't worry about it........Beard Combed"

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Comb Beard Man

One of many aliases used by respected student journalist A.R.

The disparity between the behavior of A.R. and the flamboyant, raucous, bawdy antics of Comb Beard Man has lead many experts to argue that dissociative identity disorder is at play here.

Like the alternate persona of ‘Steve’ in the case of Kenneth “Hillside Strangler” Bianchi, the Comb Beard Man persona may become dominant at certain times and commit acts that A.R. is quite unaware of.

Sources close to A.R. describe him as hardworking, shy, demure and humble. All-around, a professional newsman.

Comb Beard Man, on the other hand, is known to have a comb perpetually dangling from his beard, smoke Cuban cigars, partake in episodes of drunken debauchery (including but not limited to: drinking openly in a university classroom, drinking openly in university public areas, shooting beans and liquor simultaneously, etc.), associate with known communists, commit petty theft (mostly of mints or plates), wander about the community pantsless, and defile stuffed animals. There are also indications that Comb Beard Man may be a major figure in the operation of a local ‘Sex Farm’.

There is currently not enough data to determine whether each of A.R.’s other aliases (ex.: Captain Carlsburg) is a distinct personality. Further research is necessary.

"The first time that I seriously doubted the notion of a kind and loving God was when I saw Comb Beard Man with his pants around his ankles"

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