midwife

A person, usually a woman, who is trained to assist women in childbirth.

I'm so glad that my midwife helped me while I was in labor.

162👍 41👎

midwife

A non-medical professional with no training who "helps" babies be born.

While midwives fell greatly in favor in the past due to modern medicine, they are currently experiencing a slight comeback because hippies are stupid.

"We're thinking about hiring a midwife for our baby instead of a licensed medical doctor."
"Enjoy your stillbirth."

98👍 141👎

midwife

A wife who isn't as attractive as all the other guys' wives who are out there winning, but at least she's a great mother.

Origin of midwife.

POSTED by Twitter user @Benaskren.

"I’ve seen some guys posting on social media lately about how they are winning bc their wife is attractive, while I don’t disagree I think finding a wife who is a great mother is 500% more important!!! Thanks @Abamaby for being such a great mom to our kids."

1👍 1👎

Midwife

A person who provides personalized and professional care to a mother prior to, during, and after a birth. Midwives provide an opportunity for a natural birth in a safe environment and focuses on what is best for the mother and baby.
Synonyms include Wonder Woman, family, birth junkies, and some of the strongest women you'll ever meet.

Having a midwife help to deliver my baby was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

16👍 7👎

Midwife

Slut that a gentleman bangs between wives.

You know that high class dude ain't gonna keep bangin' that stank ho forever. She's just a midwife.

24👍 39👎

Midwife

A person, usually a woman who dragged out the baby from the pregnant woman's vagina.

"The midwife is sticking her fingers in to reach the baby's head"

40👍 92👎

Call the Midwife

A BBC period drama series about a group of nurse midwives working in the East End of London in the 1950s and 1960s

I'm chillin out and next thing I know, somebody's screaming in agony in the other room. I walk over to see what's up and I say to my lady friend "Hey! Its that show where somebody's giving birth every 5 minutes" . She says "Yup! I'm watching Call the Midwife again"