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When your are having in intercourse with a woman and you stick a calculator in her vagina and do an equation on that calculator
Man, I gave this girl The Calculator last night Twas amazing!
11👍 5👎
When someone does something really cool that took an outrageous amount of luck or effort. Sometimes it takes lots of planning.
Dude 1: I'm going to make this basket from 100 feet away!
Dude 2: Shit, can you really?
*Dude 1 makes the shot*
Dude 2: Shit Dude! That throw was calculated!
41👍 7👎
My brain, my every ounce of being human
Guy 1: Have you seen my brain?
Guy 2: what? you lost your brain?
Guy 1: yeah, it is green and had buttons on it, oh yeah it say "Texas Instruments" on the front.
Guy 2: dude, that's a calculator
Guy 1: I DON'T CARE JUST FIND IT
271👍 77👎
You really got a 36 on your ACT? You're such a fucking calculator
28👍 5👎
Malware dev's most admired system program to test whether their remote access trojan works
*plays multiplayer game* zOmG!! teh calculator have just opened by itself!11
🧐🤪🤪🤪
13👍 3👎
Cheating device for those to lazy to work out 2+2.
Idiot 1: Dude, what's 2+2?
Idiot 2: Dunno. Steal Jane's calculator.
37👍 11👎
The reason why we don't need math, especially in high school, when you'd rather be snogging.
Tim: Math is @#$%?&*!!! I hate it! I want to snog!
Tim's dad: This is why there are calculators. Don't forget the rubber, son.
99👍 37👎