Phrenologist

A friendly person who claims to be a medical professional, but is actually just a self serving con artist or quack.

So the phrenologist told my wife that because the top of her head is flat that her purpose in life is to give blowjobs and balance beer cans on top of her skull?

phrenologistic

Any pseudo-scientific test, process or statement which has the appearance or implication of a legitimate scientific exercise, but is, alas, complete and utter fucking bullshit.

The faux-gypsy tarot card reader at the stupid hipster farmers' market pretended to have uncovered a causal relationship between my personality and her star charts, but the result was phrenologistic.

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