Thoughts and prayers

Common social media reply to posts about dead people when there is, in fact, no thoughts and no prayers. And if there is, they last about 2 seconds.

*comments “Thoughts and Prayers”*
*immediately goes back to watching porn*

6👍 8👎

Today years old

A phrase grown adults who haven’t lost their virginity yet and still live in their parent’s basement say when they heard something on the internet that usually isn’t true.

I was today years old when I learned that guitar strings are actually made for cutting cheese cubes.

21👍 40👎

Today years old

A thing millennials say to intentionally sound like they have damage in their Broca’s area

I was today years old when I learned this *left side of their face starts drooping*

11👍 27👎

But

Translation: disregard everything I said so far and here’s how I actually feel

You were great and I know it’s not your fault, but the rest of the staff made this experience unenjoyable

1👍 4👎

But

A word people say that means “forget everything that I just said, I’m now going to tell you what I really think.”

That was a great idea but I think we shouldn’t do that

1👍 4👎

Female

A word you can call females that will offend them by their choice to be offended.

Havin a night with the boys tonight, sorry no females allowed.

“UHM YOU MEAN NO WOMEN ALLOWED??? REEEEEEEE”
? Same thing.

3👍 7👎

Facebook

A social media platform that believes that if you watch one video in your feed, you definitely want every video you scroll past to play until you stop and turn the volume off.

Wtf Facebook?

1👍 4👎